I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize