My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
