at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
