Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
