You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
