Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize