The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
