Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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