I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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