Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
