Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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