I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
