How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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