using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
