in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
