So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
