Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
