Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
