I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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