Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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