Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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