bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
