He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
