No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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