If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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