every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
