based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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