i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
