My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
