We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
