I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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