Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He had one of those small greek statue penises
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
