another moral hangover. fuck.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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