She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
