Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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