yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize