okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Everclear isn't food dammit
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
