So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
