i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
