I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
