you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
