Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
