im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
