Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
