we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
