I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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