would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
