honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You ruined the universe
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
