kristin has been a bad kristin
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
