suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
