Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my poor anus
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
