Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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