Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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