There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
