Welp...herpes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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