yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
