I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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