even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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