so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
