You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
