I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How does one acquire holy water?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
