Duck Duck Cougar?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
