Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
