your parents love me but you hate me
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
