Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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