How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My balls are so social today.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
