Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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